Servant of the Secret Fire

I want to type out what I said at the end of my junior/senior speech last year. Mainly because I have been thinking alot about it.

"In Lord of the Rings, there is a scene when Gandalf is facing the Balrog. While facing the Balrog, he says, 'I am servant of the secret fire....the dark fire shall not avail you.'

The first time a ever heard that I was fascinated. I knew there was some deep underlying truth there just waiting to be dug out. I read once that Tolkein wrote to a friend that 'servant of the secret fire' was his name for the Holy Spirit. I think that is just a phenomenally cool name for the Holy Spirit, especially when viewed in light of Pentecost.

That got me thinking about fire. Why do people use fire at all when it is so incredibly destructive? The obvious answer is for light and heat. So what would dark fire be like? Dark fire, would definitely not have light, and it wouldn't be too taxing on the imagination to include a lack of heat as well.

So normal fire has both light and heat, while dark fire does not. The application here would be that serving the 'secret fire', the Holy Spirit, allows you to produce something worthwhile, but serving the dark fire, you produce nothing of any value.

But this isn't enough. There is something deeper here. You notice that we have contrasted the two: secret fire to dark fire. But we haven't compared the two. They are both fire. Both consume.

The human soul is made to be consumed. We have no choice in the matter. Whatever you put in the center of your life will consume you. It will become who you are and what you are about. It will be a flame to the very center of your being.

So we will be consumed. We cannot stop or delay it. But we do have a choice, a very important choice. We can choose what we put in the very center of our being. We can choose what consumes us. We can choose the dark fire, or the secret fire.

If we put ourselves in the center, then it is ourselves that will consume us. If we put power in the center, then that is what will consume us. Money, ambition, greed, church, helping, excitement, God: All of these, when put in the center, will eat at our very existence.

So what then, does it matter? Why put one thing there, and not another? If in the end, all will consume. What is the difference between the dark fire, and the secret one?

The difference between destruction and life. The difference between pain and healing. The difference between hell and heaven. The question isn't, 'whether we will be consumed?' That we already know. The question is 'Will there be anything left after the consumption?'

For there is one thing, one consuming fire, that will consume, but not destroy. All other fires will destroy you. They will burn everyone you know, they will burn everything in your path, everything you hold dear, in a selfish blaze of desire. And in the end, the dark fire will consume even you, and produce nothing worthwhile for the pain.

But the secret fire isn't that way. This flame has quite a different nature. The secret fire consumes, but it doesn't destroy. It will give more than it takes. It will build rather than tear down. Yes, it will hurt. Yes you will be consumed. But in the path of this fire, in the wake of this flame, there will not be death, but life. There will not be hurt, but hope. For this flame is God Himself.

And isn't that the great paradox of the Christian faith? The burning bush, the flame that burns but doesn't destroy. Isn't that what Christ said? That if you try to save your life, you will lose it, but if you lose your life for Christ, then you will save it. This is what the Bible is talking about. This is what Christ meant. The flame with a secret. The fire with an ability to build and give life, the secret fire.

If you give your life totally to anything: God, self, fame, church; you will be consumed. But what will be left? What will be the end result? If that fire is anything but God, then it will destroy your friends, your environment, your joy, and eventually yourself. It will not only consmue, but it will destroy, everything in it's terrible path.

But if you put God in the center, if you let Him consume your life, destruction will not be your end. There will be life. Life more than you need. Life in such abundance that your friends feel it. So much life that those that meet you see it. All because you are being consumed by the only fire that can truly give life. All because you gave everything over to Him. All because of a choice, to serve the secret fire, and be consumed, and bring life; rather than serve the dark fire, and be consumed, and bring death.

May I be a servant of the secret fire. May I allow God to consume me in a blaze of life, so that I, through Christ, can show others what living really is.


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