I've often wondered what aliens would think of our movies...what observations would they make about us based on our box office entertainment. I think I know one conclusion they would come to:
The epitome of human existence, the key that unlocks the human potential, the one object that fills the void in the human soul, that gives meaning and completes everyone:
Romantic Love...
If you watched movies wouldn't that be your impression? Humans are only truly happy when they find that special someone...the 'only happy when in love' theme is ubiquitous through out the entire movie industry.
But does reality meet fantasy? Look around at the world...does anyone have this self-proclaimed 'key to happiness'? People search for it constantly, but more family suffering and romantic misery appears every day.
What's wrong with this picture? The very thing we are told will truly satisfy us seems unattainable in the real world. How can we ever be happy?
People are defining themselves by their romantic relationships alone; whole generations of faceless souls whose identity is purely tied up in romance. They are wooden puppets who wish their romantic lives would make them real people. They are willing to let people pull the strings in order to feel the beat of a real heart instead of the cold dead wood of the mannequins they've become.
But romantic relationships will never fix the problem. Love is more about giving than receiving, more about sacrifice than gain, more about work than play. This is the nature of a true relationship. An empty soul can never get this type of relationship...for they have nothing to give. They are empty vessels waiting for a relationship to fill them. But the relationship they are hoping will fill them can only come to someone who is already filled. A heart of love is a heart that gives...but to give you need identity, to be someone, not to simply be a relationship to someone.
Of course, this all works well at first. Under the spell of 'First Love' anyone can give love. The world seems colored and full of life and love. All seems well and their search for fulfillment appears to have ended. But the task of truly living with another person and truly loving another person, with all their weaknesses and frailties and hurts, takes endurance and real true love. A real romantic relationship requires you to love the person even when you don't like them. Real love is a decision to care about others despite how they treat you, not because of how they treat you.
But this type of love takes an individual that is full, not one that is empty. The lack of self identity brings everything into disarray, and the flesh turns once again into cold hard wood. The puppet searches once more...
I'm so frustrated sometimes with the pain I see in others. Some of the most popular, talented people have reduced themselves to living ghosts hopelessly wishing that the next person will truly fulfill them...trying to pour love out of an empty soul; wasting what they have in a futile attempt to capture a shadow of reality.
Don't get me wrong...romantic relationships can be great...they can add things to our lives that most things are incapable of adding...they can be a source of great joy...
...but if your identity is only the relationship...if there is nothing else beyond that...then you have no true identity; and when/if that relationship ends, you cease to exist...because the relationship has ceased to exist.
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